The Father of Lies

Recently I received an email from a dear friend. She and I talk about the shared experience of loosing babies. My friend lost her precious baby girl, Hope, 5 days after she was born. And of course, I lost Riley after less than 3 months of pregnancy. My friend and I have such different circumstances, yet we have found that in grieving our children, we are so much the same. I feel like God has put this dear woman in my life for a very great reason! She has insight that sometimes I don’t have. Sometimes I have insight that she had not yet had.

In my friends email she mentioned hearing of a family who had lost their baby from a full-term stillbirth. It happened to be a couple that she was very close to from CA. Anyway, in her email she shared that the father of the still-born baby, who is a Christian; now is making statements quite reasonable for an angry parent of a dead baby. This father is stating that it is Satan who steals, kills and destroys. This poor grieving father believes, (at least now in his anger) that his baby’s death had nothing to do with God. That God was nowhere in these circumstances. I ask for prayer for their family!

My friend asked me in her email what my take was on all of this in regards to the death of Riley. Here is what I told her and what I truly believe..

I feel like God had a plan in Riley’s short life. I don’t feel like it was Satan who “took” my baby. That gives him too much power. I don’t feel that he is more powerful that God. Riley’s days were ordained. Written in His book. Although so extremely sad for me in my mortal state, I know that God has and had a plan in it all. And Riley is living in His glory everyday! Worshiping Him, never knowing the pains of this life. Never having sinned. Never knowing cold, sickness, sadness or pain. All that my precious baby knows is what it is like to see our Savior’s face. I will never wonder the faith of my child. For I am certain of where he or she is. And I am certain I will meet my baby one precious day!

Now, after pondering the above senario, today I got an email about a family in our church. The wife was pregnant and was expecting very close to my due date. She had a miscarriage today. Boy did those old emotions start flowing when I heard this! The pain! How my heart hurt. It was like I lost Riley yesterday. The tears began to flow. As they do even now as I write this. But the tears were not only for myself. They were for this poor mother. It caused me to ask myself, Will I be on the other end this time? Last time it was Heather Erwin, a friend in our homeschool group, who carried her baby to term (around the same time as I was due) and now enjoys holding and loving her sweet little girl everyday, while I morn the loss of Riley. Now will it be me who carries and ultimately births a healthy baby, while this other mother morns the loss of her child? Will she look at my growing belly at church each week and wish it were her? Will she see my baby, when born, and experience the hurt all over again - realizing that this is what her baby may have looked like? Would it have been a girl? A boy? I know I went through those emotions (and sometimes still do) when I see Rebekah Erwin.

In the little time I have had to process this information, I feel so equipped to pray for this mom and her husband. I know EXACTLY what it is like. I know what she is going through and what she will go through. May God bless me with the ability to lift her and her husband up in prayer. I pray He will give me words to minister to her broken heart! But above all, despite and in spite of the hurt, to know it was Him who had a plan. It is not Satan who takes away. He is the Father of Lies!  May this family not be decieved! It is our Soverign God who gives and takes away. I pray that they would be covered in His love. I pray that they would be united in their marriage and in their grief. And I pray that this whole situation, as hard as it is, would be used for His glory!

“Naked I came from my mother’s womb, and naked I will leave this life. The LORD gives, and the LORD takes away.  Praise the name of the LORD.”  Job 1:21

Posted in Pregnancy, Thoughts by Mariah, loss || 2 Comments